Motivational Monday

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Good morning, you lovely readers! It’s Monday, which means that it’s time for your dose of motivation. To get a little conversation going, I’d love to hear what keeps you going on those weekdays that tend to drag. Comment in the section below and enjoy the rest of your day!

Who is awesome? You are. Just sayin’.

Motivational Monday Motivational Monday5 Motivational Monday1 Motivational Monday Motivational Monday2 Motivational Monday4Some of the above posts can be found at The Berry.

 

Motivational Monday

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Mondays.. amiright? There is nothing quite like trying to get back into the flow of things after having a relaxing and care-free weekend. To help you conquer the Monday blues, i’ve gathered a few feel good stuffs to help you find that inner motivation to SEIZE THE DAY.

Have a great Monday, everyone!

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Negative People: Why You Don’t Need Them

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Negative People Why You Don't Need Them

Negative people have the potential to be downright toxic. Even the most positive people have trouble being around constant debbie downess – this is especially true if those negative nancies happen to be people you spend a lot of your time with AKA friends.

Friendships that only give you negative energy are friendships you don’t need. You deserve to surround yourself with relationships that encourage growth of the mind and spirit. If you have a friendship or relationship that prevents that growth or drags you down, you may be better off just ridding yourself of that relationship all together.

First, let’s cover why you don’t need those negative soul suckers in your life:

  • You are who you surround yourself with. This might sound a little weird but it’s kind of like that old saying ‘you are what you eat’. It’s been said that the person you become is influenced greatly by who you spend your time with. Look at the people you hang out with the most and you will find that you have a lot of similarities. This is because the more time you spend with people, the more of their habits, verbiage, etc. you pick up. If you’re hanging around a lot of negative people, chances are you’ll become more negative yourself.
  • Negativity will affect your energy level.  Being around negativity constantly can be a real energy sucker. I’m serious. Once you’ve spent a decent amount of time with someone listening to them only moan and complain about every little thing in their life, or even put you down on a regular basis, you’ll feel drained and depressed. Not only does this affect you for the time you spend around them, it will also affect you long-term by amping up your stress and anxiety levels.

  • Negative people take up valuable space. All those toxic friendships and negative relationships your wasting time and energy on? Yeah, you could be using that time and energy on someone more positive and deserving. Negative people take up space in your life – valuable space that a positive, more supportive person could be residing in. Time to clean up your real estate, my friend.

Next, let’s identify those negative little leeches:

  • How do they handle their problems? Do they constantly complain and dump on you – then do NOTHING to actually solve the problem? Do they completely disregard all your advice? Let me tell you, a person that consistently complains about the same things yet does nothing to change their situation is toxic. I’m not talking about the casual complainer who just needs an ear from time to time – we all have our moments where we need to vent about family, work, etc. You’ll know a toxic complainer when you meet one.
  • Do they shoot down my dreams, goals, or decisions? Do they make snide comments or do things that sabotage your goals/aspirations? Do they put you down? Or tell you that you can’t or shouldn’t do something? For example: when I was in college, I put on a few pounds and decided I needed to make a lifestyle change. I started eating healthier and exercising on a regular basis, and quickly saw results. However, throughout that journey, I had a friend that constantly made comments such as ‘I don’t see a difference’, ‘It’s funny that I’m still skinnier than you’, or ‘What’s the point’. She would also make me cookies and cupcakes, even though she knew I was trying to make a lifestyle change. Unfortunately, friends like that aren’t friends at all. Anyone that tries to stop you from reaching your goals or discouraging you from going after your dreams is not a friend you want to have in your back pocket. Trust me.

  • Do they make an effort in our friendship? Do they refuse to call/text you first? Forget to invite you out or ask you to do things? If you find that the only times you talk or hang out are when you initiate it, it might be time to take a step back. A friendship should be give and take, 50/50. If you’re doing all the work and getting none of the reward, your friendship might be toxic.

And the most important question to ask yourself..

  • How do I feel after I hang out with this person? Do you leave them feeling depressed, doubtful, drained, or in any way negative? Do you dread seeing this person? Do they always take the last piece of pizza [unforgivable]?!?! If you answered yes to any of those, it might be time to reevaluate your relationship with that person and decide if they are really someone you want in your life.

If you’ve decided that someone is negative and you’re no longer interested in being friends, here are a few ways to let them go: 

  • Talk to them. Tell them exactly how you’re feeling and what has been bothering you – maybe they weren’t aware of how they were acting! Take the time to calmly communicate with them and make sure to come from a place of compassion and love. You won’t get anywhere if you attack them and start listing everything they’ve done wrong. By talking to your negative friend and bringing the problems to light, you will both be able to evaluate the friendship and see if it is worth saving. If communicating with them doesn’t work, simply tell them you need a break and then cut ties.

  • Stop talking to them. Depending on the friendship and situation, it might just be better to cut ties right away. Avoid seeing them, stop answering their calls, etc. If you have mutual friends and this option is completely impossible, try limiting the time you spend with them. Hang out only in groups, cut calls short, whatever. Even though this sounds mean, you will feel so much better ridding yourself of such a toxic friend. Simply stop communicating and send them off with love and a prayer.

Staying friends with someone just because it is convenient or you feel like you have no other friends is no way to go through life. There are MILLIONS of beautiful souls out there, you just have put yourself out there and meet them. It is because there are so many wonderful potential friends in the world that I really want to encourage you to dump the toxic ones you currently have. Friendships come and go – it’s a sad, unfortunate fact. However, cleaning out the rotten friendships makes space for true and lasting friendships to take their place.

I know that sounds harsh, but it’s true. All relationships – friendships, romances, etc. – need to be give and take. You also need to enjoy the relationships you’re in. Once you’ve found a friend that you enjoy being around and genuinely connect with, you’ll be much happier.

As a side note, if you think your toxic friend needs to talk to someone, or that they are a risk to themselves or others, encourage them to get help. There are resources out there for people who are depressed and/or in need of someone to talk to.

Readers: How do you deal with toxic friends? Any advice for other readers? Are YOU the friend that steals that last piece of pizza [YOU MONSTER]?!?

7 Ways to Practice Gratitude

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7 Ways to Practice Gratitude

When we find ourselves in a rut, we often take to thinking about the wrongs in our life or even [*gasp*] spiraling in a whirlwind of negativity. Although it is important to be grateful everyday, it’s especially needed when we find ourselves down in the dumps. Thinking of things that you love and/or what you’re grateful for can put any negative situation into perspective [trust me, boo].

We need to be grateful as hell for all the wonder, victories, small moments and grace in our life. Why? Because life is beautiful and pizza exists. So to help you get your grateful vibes on, here are 7 ways to practice gratitude today:

1. Share your gratitude with others. If you know me, you’re probably aware that I LOVE asking “what are you grateful for today?” [’cause I’m nosey, duh]. Not only do I get to hear what my loved ones are grateful for, it also serves as a reminder to think about what I’m grateful for in my own life. So take a moment and share your gratitude with others. Ask them what they’re grateful for and share your own grateful list.

2. Keep a gratitude journal. Take note of one or two things your grateful for everyday. This is a fantastic way to practice gratitude because if you ever find yourself at a loss for words, you can look back at old entries for a little gratitude inspiration.

3. Say thanks with a RAK (random act of kindness). By doing someone a little act of kindness, you pass the good vibes and grateful feelings along [bonus for the good karma].

4. Thank the people that serve you. Okay, picture this: you’re eating lunch with a friend and are deeply engrossed in gossip. As you’re all like “Oh my gosh, Becky.. look at her butt“, your waiter/waitress has quietly filled your glass and disappeared without you even noticing.

Okay, yes, it’s their job to make sure you’re enjoying your meal, and a good server won’t disturb you.. But that doesn’t mean you can’t flash a quick smile and throw a “thank you” their way! PLUS, when you’re nice to your server, they’ll most likely return the favor and be nice to you [win win].

5. Appreciate the world and its beauty. Next time you step outside, put down the phone and just take a moment to soak up the fresh air. We live in a beautiful world and it’s a miracle that you are even alive! So step away from your twitter feed, enjoy the breeze on your face, and send out a little thanks to the universe for existing.

6. Get involved in a cause. Donate time, money, talent, whatevs. Just go out there and get involved in something you’re passionate about. No matter what you do, you’ll learn to appreciate the organization a little more and realize that there is always something to be grateful for.

7. Say ‘Thank You’ for the little things. Unless you’re a total jerk, you probably say “thank you” when a friend wishes you a happy birthday, your boss promotes you, or the delivery man brings you pizza – you know, the big things.

As easy as it is to say thanks for the big things in life, it’s imperative that you don’t forget to be grateful for the little things. We become accustomed to the small gestures and tiny moments. Stop taking them for granted, bro! Say”thank you” for a small, specific thing today (e.g., your significant other takes the trash out, your coworker turns your computer on for you, etc.).

Readers: How do you practice gratitude? What are you grateful for today?

3 Reasons Why You Should Be a Positive Thinker

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3 Reasons Why You Should Be A Positive Thinker

In the book “The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking, Oliver Burkeman says “Ceaseless optimism about the future only makes for a greater shock when things go wrong; by fighting to maintain only positive beliefs about the future, the positive thinker ends up being less prepared, and more acutely distressed, when things eventually happen that he can’t persuade himself to believe are good.”

If I’m allowed to speak freely, I think this is complete and utter bullshit. I don’t believe that thinking positively makes you less prepared for catastrophic events or failure. Instead, positive thinking encourages you to recognize that failure/distress/chaos is temporary.

By looking on the bright side of a terrible situation, or simply encouraging yourself to think positively during a rough period, you’re simply telling yourself things will get better. There will always be a rainbow after the storm, so to speak.

It’d be crazy to think that you can be positive all the time. Everyone is going to have days where they feel down because negativity has creeped in. The important thing is to try to think positive on days like this. Don’t let the negative thoughts consume you and you’ll be just fine.

So, what exactly does positive thinking do for you? WELL, I’m delighted that you asked [cause you did. I know you did. RIGHT?].

3 Reasons Why You Should Be a Positive Thinker:

1. You’ll feel better. When your thoughts are positive, that positivity affects your mind, body and soul.

I know i’ve talked about the dreaded “spiraling” a couple of times.. That strange thing that happens when you start thinking something negative and that negative thought brings to mind another and another and another. 

When this happens, you oftentimes end up in a really dark frame of mind that can affect your sleep schedule, your concentration, your happiness, etc.

To avoid the dreaded spiraling and to keep yourself sleeping like a baby, try to keep the thoughts positive. Even if you’ve made a mistake or you are feeling really down on yourself, don’t give in to the negative thoughts.

If your friend came to you and told you about a mistake she made, would you say to her “Yeah, wow, you really are an idiot. I’d hate to have your life right now, suckahhh!” OF COURSE YOU WOULDN’T. [If you would say that, I think you should make an appointment to visit the doctor. I’m pretty sure they make pills for that.]

So why would you say those things to yourself?

If you make a mistake or screw up, talk yourself up and keep the thoughts positive. You’ll feel better, you’ll sleep fine, and your smile will be as genuine and beautiful as it has always been.

2. People will be attracted to you. Not just in a romantic way, but also professionally and socially.

Think about someone in your life that is consistently negative. Maybe they constantly complain about their spouse, job, lack of ice cream in the freezer, etc.

If you haven’t noticed, people who are always negative are total black holes when it comes to energy. They literally suck your good vibes and energy away. Oftentimes when you leave them you feel down or unhappy. You might also feel negative emotions and dread by simply thinking of them.

Most likely, you try to avoid this negative person as much as possible and find yourself complaining about their negativity whenever they are mentioned.

Unfortunately, they become such energy suckers by allowing negative thoughts to create negative feelings, moods, and behavior. They allow these black feelings to consume them and those black feelings leak out and affect people around them.

NOBODY wants to be around a black hole vibe-sucker. Trust me.

When you encourage positive thoughts, these thoughts affect your attitude and behavior. When your actions and attitude are positive, people will naturally gravitate towards you. Why? Because you’ll make them feel good! BOOM.

3. You’ll feel motivated to accomplish your goals.

There is a reason coaches give their players a pep talk before a big game. Motivational words and encouragement make the players feel like they can do anything – like beat their opponents!

So think of positive thinking like giving yourself a pep talk. If you think positively and encourage yourself to reach further and dream bigger, you’ll be more likely to! Tasks will be easier to fulfill and goals will be easier to accomplish. Why? Because you’re pumping yourself up and setting yourself up for success!

WOOHOO here’s to being a positive thinker!

3 Reasons Why You Should Be a Positive Thinkerr

Readers: Do you have your own reasons for being a positive thinker? How do you banish negativity? Isn’t the weather just SO DANG HOT today?!

4 Ways to Conquer Self-Doubt

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4 Ways to Conquer Self-DoubtLet me be frank: self-doubt is a bitch. Self-doubt is the cranky old neighbor next door that tells you to pipe down when you’re having a party.

Unfortunately, we all have our moments when we encounter cranky old self-doubt, and our inner selves are put up for scrutiny. These moments arise whenever self-doubt decides to rear its ugly head – at work, in your relationship, wherevs. When you feel the self-doubt creep in, you become insecure and second guess yourself. In turn, this insecurity can lead to indecision and hesitation – both of which can keep you from accomplishing your goals and/or achieving your dreams.

A little self-doubt here and there is healthy [it keeps us all from turning into cocky jerks]. However, constant self-doubt and hesitation is bad for the soul [ain’t nobody got time for that!].

Now, because I care for you and genuinely want to see you succeed, I’m going to give you 4 Ways to Conquer Self-Doubt –

1. Counteract your negative self-doubt with something positive. If it feels like self-doubt and judgement is taking over your brain, take a moment and breathe. Recognize that these are negative thoughts that you don’t want and then beat those thoughts away with something positive!

Think about your strengths, the things you like about yourself, your achievements, and your dreams. Giving yourself a little pep talk will help banish that negative energy and get you back on track to achieving your goals.

2. Be self-aware and find the root of your self-doubt. When negative thoughts come to mind, try to trace the thoughts and find out where they are coming from.

For example, let’s say you’re terrified of speaking in public.. Maybe your boss tells you that you’re going to need to give a presentation to the company. If you’re terrified of speaking in public, self-doubt might make itself known in the form of “I can’t do this”, “I’m going to bomb this presentation”, or even an extreme “I’m going to lose my job over this” [whoa buddy]. You need to recognize that these thoughts are coming from your fear of public speaking, and not necessarily because you think you’re going to fail.

Once you recognize this, you can take steps to learn how to overcome your fear. If you’re afraid of public speaking, you can take some classes, speak in public as often as possible, or get a coach to help you. There’s always something you can do to be better at the thing that makes you doubt yourself.

4 ways to overcome self doubt

3. Call for backup.  We all have people in our lives that cheer us on and root for us to achieve the impossible. This could be your parents, your significant other, your friends, etc.

Essentially, these people are our biggest fans and they genuinely want to see us succeed. When moments of self-doubt arise, give your personal cheerleader a call. Sometimes the best way to get out of a funk is having someone that you respect and care for tell you that you’re awesome.

There is one rule for calling on your cheerleaders: DON’T make it a habit. Constantly asking for validation can actually do more harm than good, simply because you start to depend on other’s opinions and advice. When this happens, you lose faith in yourself and your ability to make decisions/get shit done.

4. Let go of the past. A lot of the time, we doubt ourselves and our abilities because of our past experiences.

Going back to the public speaking example, maybe you’re self-doubting yourself because you’ve bombed a presentation before. No matter how poorly you did in the past, you need to let it go. Recognize that your past is your past – you’re not destined to repeat your mistakes!

Take a deep breath, push those memories away, and focus on the here and now. Every day is a new beginning, so don’t let your past sneak in and ruin opportunities and experiences that haven’t even happened yet.

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For me personally, If I let self-doubt and insecure feelings control the way I feel about this blog, I’d never post. I have my moments where I wonder if a certain blog post was dumb, or if people will even find it funny.. However, I push those feelings and thoughts aside and publish anyways! Blogging is something that makes me happy, and honestly, that’s all the motivation I need to push the publish button.

I sincerely hope that this post has helped you. If you’re doubting yourself, stop! You’re capable of great things, all you need to do is trust yourself and go for it! 🙂

Readers: What are some ways that you overcome self-doubt? Do you have a personal cheerleader that you turn to for advice and comfort? Any tips for your fellow readers?

Credit: here and here.